Chapter 14

JSP's Shuis Achives | home

“Luis, I don't think I've ever eaten so much in my life!” Sheridan exclaimed holding her hand over her overfilled stomach.

“But Angel, we haven't even had dessert yet” Luis grinned impishly.

Sheridan groaned. The thought of more food at this point was a little bit too much. “Why don't we go for a walk?” She suggested. “Maybe burn off a few calories? Our wedding is only a month away and I'd like to fit into my dress.” Her tone was playful but she was deadly serious.

“Of course” Luis smiled. “I'd love to go for a walk with you.”

Luis and Sheridan excused themselves and told Pilar they were going for a short walk and would be back shortly. Luis helped Sheridan on with her jacket and the two of them left the Lopez-Fitzgerald house and headed down the street.

“This is a really nice neighborhood” Sheridan said, leaning into Luis' embrace. “The houses all have character and it's really quiet. I bet it was a great place to grow up.”

Luis laughed. “Quiet? It may seem that way now, but I can assure you, this isn't what I would call a retirement neighborhood. During the summer the sun wouldn't set until after 9:00 and the street would be filled with the neighborhood kids all getting together to play a game of kick the can. Man we were so loud sometimes.” Luis shook his head and smiled as he remembered those games.

“Kick the can?” Sheridan asked. She hadn't a clue what "kick the can" was, but judging by the look on Luis' face she knew it held fond memories.

“Yeah” Luis grinned. It's kind of like a cross between tag and hide and seek, only we used a big tin can as our base. The person who was it would close their eyes and count to 100 and everyone else would hide. Then the person who was it would try to find everyone else.”

“That sounds like fun” Sheridan remarked, envisioning dozens of little kids running through the various yards.

“It was sometimes” Luis agreed. “As long as you weren't the person who was it.”

“Why is that?” Sheridan wondered.

“Well, for starters, you not only had to find out where everyone was hiding, but when you found them, you had to run back to the can and call them out. As each person was captured, the others would generally hide further away so you had to go further from the can to find them. As soon as that happened, someone would come flying out of no where, kick the can and free all the kids you'd already found.”

“You're kidding!” Sheridan exclaimed.

“It was tough sometimes trying to be in three places at once” Luis chuckled.

“I bet” Sheridan smiled. “Still, it sounds like it was fun. I was never allowed to do anything like that when I was a child. The motto at the mansion was children should be seen and not heard. Even when I went to boarding school, all of the games we played were under watchful eyes of the nuns. We were to act in a manner proper with the good name we had.” Sheridan's tone was filled with regret.

Luis stopped and turned to Sheridan, a gleam in his eye. “I have an idea, Sheridan” he smirked.

Sheridan eyed him suspiciously.

“What are you up to Luis?” Sheridan asked.

“Come on and you'll find out” he shouted as he ran back to his house dragging Sheridan with him.

*********************

“This is really a great idea, Bro” Miguel grinned. “I can't remember the last time we played this game.”

“Trust me Miguel, it's been a lot longer for me than its been for you” Luis laughed.

“Luis, I can't believe you're doing this” Sheridan said, a silly grin plastered to her face.

“I'd do anything for you Angel” Luis smiled. “Don't you know that?” He lifted her chin so she was looking directly into his eyes. “Besides, it'll be a lot of fun.”

“Okay everyone, listen up” Luis said to the group. “We're going to play kick the can, but we're going to play it in teams. Sheridan will be with me, Charity with Miguel, Kay with Reese and Theresa with Whitney and Jessica with Simone.”

Everyone seemed excited about the game, except Kay that is. She rolled her eyes at the mention of teaming up with Reese. She really regretted her little Halloween prank because now everyone seemed to think Reese was her boyfriend.

“Who's going to be it, Luis?” Reese asked.

“To make it fair we're going to choose numbers between 1-10 and whichever team chooses the number closest to the chosen one will be it.”

“And who chooses the number?” Kay asked. “I hope it's not you Luis, no offense.”

“None taken” Luis smiled. “Marianna has agreed to pick a number after we've all chosen. She's still in the house, so she won't know who chose what number.”

So far everyone seemed to be in agreement.

“The teams must hide together, well in the same vicinity that is, but the team that's it can look for teams separately. If one is guarding the can though, and someone comes out running, both members of the team must be present in order to capture the team.”

“I get it” Jessica said. “Two people are it and looking in different places. If one of them spots someone both of them have to be at the can in order to make it count.”

“Exactly” Luis said. “Also, if one member of a team is captured, then they both are regardless of whether they've both been spotted. Now, each team needs to pick a number.”

“We'll take one” Whitney said for her and Theresa.

“Six for us Bro” Miguel called.

”Four” Simone said.

“Kay my sweets, what number would you like?” Reese asked affectionately.

“I don't care Reese” Kay said in a huff, her arms crossed tightly across her chest. “You pick.”

Reese placed his finger to his lips and contemplated the situation for a moment.

“Just pick a number Reese!” Kay said in exasperation.

“Okay, we pick seven” Reese said.

Luis glanced over at Sheridan. “Two?” She said, hoping it was a good choice.

Luis nodded. “Let me get Marianna.” Luis went into the house and brought Marianna back with him. She was rubbing her arms furiously, having come out without a coat.

“Okay everyone” Marianna smiled. “The magic number is… eight. Hope that helps!” As quickly as she came, Marianna disappeared. It was freezing outside.

“No one picked eight” Simone pointed out.

“Yeah, but the closest number picked to eight was seven” Kay said hotly. “Good job Reese!”

Luis shook his head and placed the empty V8 can on the ground, void of its label. “Start counting guys” he grinned.

Kay and Reese stood there with their eyes closed and began counting to 100.

“Come on Sheridan!” Luis yelled, grabbing her hand and taking off for the back of his house. “I have the perfect place to hide. I used to hide here when I was a kid and no one ever found me.”

Sheridan excitedly followed Luis to a small hiding spot between the shed and garage. Once the two of them were in the hiding place, Luis realized the close quarters he and Sheridan shared.

“Somehow I remember this spot being a little larger when I was a kid” Luis laughed.

“Well, you were probably hiding alone for starters” Sheridan whispered and I bet you weren't quite as big.”

“I'll tell you something else about hiding here” Luis grinned playfully.

“What's that?” Sheridan asked, staring into his smiling brown eyes.

“I never enjoyed hiding in a closed space as much as I'm enjoying being here with you right now” he whispered.

“Ready or not, here we come!” Sheridan and Luis could hear Reese shouting in the distance.

“We'd better be quiet” Luis whispered softly.

Luis and Sheridan had to stifle their giggles when Reese walked towards them, looked in the shed, but never thought to look behind the woodpile next to it. Soon he walked off to another area of the yard.

“That was close” Sheridan said, almost giddy with excitement.

Luis and Sheridan stayed in their hiding place for awhile, long enough for Reese and Kay to capture the others. “I guess you were right” Sheridan said. “This is a good hiding place.”

“Okay Angel, now it's time” Luis said with a boyish grin.

“Time?” Sheridan questioned.

“Time to release the others and run like hell” Luis smirked. “Ready?”

“Lead the way” Sheridan laughed.

Luis grabbed Sheridan's hand and carefully walked back behind the shed making sure Kay and Reese didn't see them. When the coast was clear he took off running with Sheridan's hand clutched in his own. Kay spotted Luis and Sheridan running but was too far away to get back before they did, so she yelled at Reese who was only a few feet from the can.

“Reese! There they are! Sheridan and Luis are heading towards you!” She shrieked.

Reese stared at Kay in confusion for a moment and then looked at his prisoners who were all cheering Luis and Sheridan on. He suddenly got the idea and made a mad dash for the can but it was too late. Sheridan kicked the can out from underneath Reese's foot just as he was about to claim victory and all of the kids ran, scattering in different directions laughing heartily as they did.

“Reese!” Kay whined as she walked dejectedly back to their home base.

Sheridan giggled as she followed Luis through several back yards to a new hiding place. They ran until they felt the need to slow and catch their breath.

“I can't believe how much fun that was” Sheridan said as she caught her breath. “The look on Kay's face was priceless when she realized we were going to kick that can.”

“She wasn't happy with Reese, that's for sure,” Luis laughed. He held his side preventing it from hurting from laughing while out of breath.

Sheridan looked around at her surroundings while she waited for her breathing to slow. She was surprised to see the house belonging to the yard they were in was vacant and appeared to have been that way for quite some time. “Luis, whose house is this?” Sheridan asked as she surveyed the nearly dilapidated three story colonial as best she could in the dark.

Luis looked up and saw they were in the yard of the old Pearson place. “I don't know who owns it now, Sheridan” Luis admitted. “At one time it was owned by Alex Pearson and his wife but they both died years ago. When I was a kid it was rumored the house was haunted. Kids used to walk by here and throw rocks through the windows which just added to the appearance of a haunted house.”

Sheridan squinted to get a better look. “It doesn't look like any windows are broken now” she said.

“The house was bought about two years ago and a family lived in it for a little less than a year. I never did know who they were. They didn't stay long. They started fixing up the place and the next thing we knew the house was vacant again.” Luis chucked. “It really made people think the place was haunted after that.”

“You know Luis” Sheridan said thoughtfully, “this house has real potential. I know it's dark, but I can almost see how gorgeous it once was. “

Luis raised a brow and smiled slightly at his fiancée. “What's going through that pretty little head of yours?” Luis asked, knowing full well what she was thinking.

Sheridan smiled innocently. “I was just thinking I'd like to see this house again in the daylight” she said. “We are going to need a place to live as soon as we get married and I bet in the condition this house is in we could get a good deal.” Even in the dark, Luis could see her eyes sparkling excitedly. He grabbed her hand and guided her closer to the old house, so they could peer in a window.

Sheridan cupped her hands over her eyes against the pane of glass and looked inside at the enormous living room. The floors were hardwood in desperate need of stripping and cleaning, the ceilings high and crown molding everywhere. There was a huge fireplace at the far end of the living room with a marble mantle. “Look at this room Luis!” Sheridan squealed with delight. “It has such potential.”

“Potential is a good word” Luis grinned impishly. He could see himself scraping and painting walls, stripping floors and wallpapering for years to come. Still, he had to admit it had its charm.

“I can see it now” Sheridan said in a dreamy voice. “A few years from now there'll be a roaring fire in the fireplace giving off a faint orange glow to the entire room. In front of this window will be a ten foot Christmas tree with colored lights blinking and covered with ornaments that we pick out together. You and I will sit snuggled on the couch with cups of hot chocolate watching our children as their eyes light up with each new Christmas present they open.”

Luis couldn't help but smile warmly as he listened Sheridan describe the perfect life, their life in a very short time. “You see all that?” He asked sweetly, wrapping his arms snuggle around her waist and planting a soft kiss on her neck.

“Um hum” She mumbled contentedly.

“How many rug rats?” Luis asked, kissing her cheek and pulling her deeper into his embrace.

“How about one a year?” She said with a mischievous grin.

“I see you plan on keeping me busy?” He retorted slyly.

“Definitely” Sheridan said seductively. She turned in his arms and kissed him gently on the lips. “And it will all start in 28 days and 14 hours.”

Luis laughed. “You are going to be the death of me, Sheridan Crane!” He hugged her tightly and gave her a quick kiss. “What do you say we go find out who owns this house in the morning?”

“I'd say I like the way you think, Officer” Sheridan smiled.

“As much as I'd like to stay here with you all night, I bet the others are wondering where we are” Luis said.

“You're right” Sheridan agreed. She snuggled close to Luis on their walk back to his house. “I'm glad we played kick the can tonight, Luis.”

“So am I Angel” Luis said contentedly. “So am I.”

********************

“Are you sure you don't mind not going to the movies with your friends?” Scott asked as he turned his car onto the freeway.. He was feeling very guilty for cutting Jay's night short.

“Nah” Jay grinned. “As much as I enjoy going to the movies I think I'd much rather spend some time alone with you.”

“Sweetie, you know this has to be a short night” Scott reminded her. “Tomorrow is my biggest day of the year. I'm opening the store at 6am.”

Jay laughed. “I realize that. I'm sure I'll be busy enough myself with this season. Crime rates go up in late November as well as retail sales.”

Scott shook his head and smiled at her. “I'm sorry. I just feel guilty for taking you away from your friends. I did have a great time by the way.”

“So did I” Jay smiled. “Heather and Mike think you're great. They've invited us back for New Year's Eve but I told them I'd have to get back to them on that one.”

“Hey, at least on New Year's Eve I don't have to go to work the next day. Christmas Day and New Years Day my stores are closed. But you won't be around for Christmas will you?”

Jay smiled nervously. “Nope. My best friend is getting married and I wouldn't miss it for anything in this world. I've even forgiven him for making me come back to New England in the dead of winter.”

Scott chuckled. “I still can't believe he met his fiancée on the Internet. That's unbelievable.”

“Actually the unbelievable part was they met twice and eventually fell in love with two different people and they were both the same person.”

Scott looked at Jay in confusion and then burst out laughing. “You're right. That is more unbelievable. I am going to miss you when you're gone, though.”

“I'll miss you too” Jay said. “But I understand your need to be at the store. Believe me, if it was anyone other than my old partner getting married, I'd be sending them a nice gift and best wishes. Snow and I do not get along.”

Scott chucked. The rest of the ride was made in silence. As Jay stole glances of Scott she couldn't keep the grin off her face as her mind drifted back to earlier in the day. She remembered how she felt on the car ride from San Diego to Heather and Mike's.

For the rest of the drive from San Diego to Beverly Hills, Jay filled Scott in on some of the details of her childhood in Maine. Jay always thought she had a pretty drab existence, but Scott listened with such interest, she felt as if she'd had the most special childhood anyone could have.

`That's one of the things I love most about him, the way he makes me feel so special.' Jay thought after she'd finished telling him her life's story.

Jay almost froze in her seat when the realization of what she just thought hit her. Did she just think about Scott and love together? Was it possible? Was she in love with Scott?

****End Flashback****

Still smiling to herself Scott turned and caught her staring. He grinned playfully. “A penny for your thoughts?”

“What?” Jay asked. She then realized she'd been daydreaming. “Sorry about that” she replied sheepishly. “I was just thinking about things.”

“Things, huh?” He asked with a raised brow.

“Yeah, things” she smirked.

Scott didn't press. Before long he pulled into Jay's driveway and parked the car. Immediately he cut the engine and got out and opened the door for Jay.

“Thanks” she said as their eyes connected for a long moment. It was times like this that Jay adored. The way he looked at her sometimes made her feel like she was the most special person on earth. Again, those feelings stirred deep inside her. She smiled and broke the gaze, not wanting to face those feelings just yet.

Scott wrapped his arm around Jay's middle and the two of them walked slowly towards her condo. She leaned her head against his chest and wrapped her arms around his waist enjoying the closeness they now shared. What was happening between the two was what Jay'd been dreaming of her whole life. When they reached her door she pulled away and reached for her key in her purse. Scott gently took the key from her and inserted it in the lock as they shared a very intense gaze. Jay's heart did a back flip and she caught her breath when she saw the look in his eyes and knew she had to stop this now.

Scott couldn't tear his eyes away from Jay. As he stared deeply into her sparkling eyes a lopsided grin formed and he was powerless to remove it. In all his recollections he couldn't remember feeling this way about another human being. Scott spent the last dozen or so years keeping his distance from other people, not wanting to get too close. He never intended to start a serious relationship with a woman and although he and Jay were taking things very slowly, this relationship was headed in only one direction… serious. Jay's lips curved into a dazzling smile as their gaze continued to intensify and Scott felt his heart just about melt. It was then he knew he needed to distance himself. He was falling for her, head over heels in love with her and had no idea what to do about it. He couldn't let that happen until he thought things out very carefully.

Scott stifled a yawn as he finally opened the door to Jay's condo. “Excuse me” he laughed.

“Are you tired?” Jay asked, glancing at her watch. It was already 9:30 and she knew Scott had to be up by 4 am if he was to open his store for six and compete with the other merchants.

“A little” he said.

“Scott, you don't have to stay you know” Jay said. “We can rent a movie any night. Why don't you go home and get some rest. You have a very busy day ahead of you tomorrow.”

“Are you sure you don't mind?” Scott asked. It was true, he did need some sleep but he also needed some time alone to think and when he was with Jay he couldn't do that.

“I don't mind” Jay smiled. “I have to work tomorrow too so I'll probably just do a few emails and go to bed.” Jay did love Scott's company but right now she needed some space, some time to think things out before they went to far and she found herself wounded to the core.

“All right then” Scott grinned. “I don't know when we'll see each other. These next few weeks are going to be crazy.”

“I'm sure we can fit a cup of coffee or something in there somewhere” Jay smirked.

“Or something” Scott said playfully.

Jay chuckled, somewhat surprised at Scott's comment.

He couldn't help himself sometimes. This woman drove him to distraction. “Sorry” he said.

“Don't be sorry, Scott” Jay replied with an impish grin of her own.

Scott leaned in and kissed Jay tenderly on the lips. He had every intention of making it a quick good night kiss, but the temptation was too great. He pulled her into an embrace and kissed her with such soft sweet passion, when their lips finally parted Jay was sure her knees would buckle underneath her. When he backed away, she placed her hand on the table next to her for support.

“Good night Jay” Scott smiled. “Happy Thanksgiving. I had a great time today. It was the best I can remember.”

“I had a great time too” Jay smiled back. “Good night.”

With that Scott exited her condo and Jay fell back onto her couch. She closed her eyes and let out a huge sigh as scenes from the day kept replaying in her mind. “Now what am I going to do?” She thought. After a moment she had her answer. She got up and walked over to her computer to email Luis.

****************************

Sheridan sighed happily as she stared deeply into the raging bonfire wrapped snuggly in the arms of the man she adored. “Luis, this has been the best Thanksgiving I've ever had” Sheridan said contentedly as she watched the flames shoot high in the air.

“I agree” Luis whispered in her ear right before kissing her cheek. “I've always loved the holidays. There's no better feeling than being surrounded by the people you love, but this year is definitely special.” He kissed her again. “Because this year I got to spend it with you. I have so much to be thankful for this year, Angel.”

Sheridan turned slightly so she could look into Luis' eyes. She couldn't help the smile that formed at the corner of her lips when she saw the reflection from the bonfire dancing in his eyes. Her heart caught in her throat at the look of burning desire mixed with deep love and devotion on his face at the moment. She's never seen Luis appear more gorgeous than he did at this precise moment.

“Oh Luis” Sheridan said, reaching her hand up to his face and lightly caressing his cheek. “I'm the one who is thankful. I thank God every day for having your love.” She smiled as she remembered receiving that first email from him all those months ago. She didn't know what it was about it, but there was something that made it stand out to her. “Do you remember that first email you sent to me, about the Spain post?”

“How could I forget” Luis grinned sheepishly.

“I remember every word” she admitted contentedly. “I didn't know what it was at the time, but there was just something about it that stuck with me. I got this really weird feeling reading it.”

Luis shook his head and smiled. They were both thinking of that very email that changed their lives forever.

I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed reading your description of Spain on the travel message board. It has always been a dream of mine to visit Spain and after reading your beautiful description, it only makes me want to get there sooner. I'm from a small town and for now most of my traveling is done via the internet. I've haven't traveled the world as you have (I've read other posts by you), but enjoy reading your vivid details of the most exotic places in the world.

I'm not sure why I am even sending this message to you, but for some reason I haven't been able to get your words out of my head. Every time I read your post I feel as if I am right there, though I've never even been out of the States. Thank you for brightening this hometown boy's day. I look forward to your next recollection.

*****End Flashback*****

“How is it possible that such an innocent email would lead to such happiness?” She asked in wonder.

“My sweet KCGirl” Luis sighed. “I will cherish our Internet relationship forever, but you know what the best part of our relationship is?”

Sheridan's smile widened. “I certainly do. We got to fall in love with each other twice at the same time.”

“Yep” Luis said. “Not many people can say that, now can they?” The two laughed for a moment before becoming completely lost in each other's gaze. The heat from the bonfire was becoming intense, either that or the deep emotions they were feeling at the moment coupled with months of pent up desire and wanting caused them to join in a kiss so fervent they momentarily forgot where they were.

“Hey! Who has the hose? It's getting too hot over here!” Buzzy yelled. In the back of his mind Luis heard Buzzy yelling about the hose and his cop instinct kicked in thinking somehow the fire had gotten out of control. He reluctantly pulled back from his passionate embrace and shook off what he was feeling to try and concentrate on the potential disaster.

“What's up Buzzy?” Luis asked, finally composing himself. He glanced over at the fire and was surprised when he saw it was actually dying down a little, not spreading. “What's going on?” Sheridan pulled herself together and stood up with Luis, her cheeks quite flushed.

Buzzy laughed. “You, man. You two are unbelievable. There are small children here, buddy.”

“Oh” Luis replied, suddenly realizing what Buzzy was talking about. He turned to Sheridan and she buried her head on his chest in embarrassment.

“I just came over here to say “Happy Thanksgiving” to you both. But I can see the two of you are already happy.”

Luis laughed, watching the wicked grin on his friend's face. “Happy Thanksgiving to you too, Buzzy.”

“Happy Thanksgiving Buzzy” Sheridan smiled. She was embarrassed as could be, but knew it was Buzzy's nature and there was nothing she could do about it. In fact, it was one of the things she liked best about him. He always made her laugh.

“You know Luis, there's something I've been meaning to say to you for a few months now and keep forgetting.”

Oh yeah?” Luis asked. He now had his arms wrapped tightly around Sheridan. Since his “scare” was over, he wanted nothing more than to get back to where they'd been a moment ago.

“Do you remember a conversation we had this summer right before Sheridan started working at the Youth Center?”

Luis stared at Buzzy thoughtfully. “I'm not sure Buzzy, refresh my memory.”

“Sparks” Buzzy grinned impishly. “I told you I never saw any sparks or chemistry between you and Beth, that it was probably a good thing your relationship was over.”

Luis was slightly uncomfortable at the mention of Beth's name, especially after all Beth had done to him and Sheridan recently. He pulled Sheridan closer to him. “I have a vague recollection.”

“I missed the boat man and I'm sorry. But I have to tell you, I saw sparks the first time I saw you and Sheridan in the same room but that was nothing compared to what I saw tonight. Heck, if I didn't know better I'd say those sparks I saw flying were what started this bonfire.”

Luis grinned and his gaze caught Sheridan's embarrassed smirk. “What can I tell you Buzzy? When you're right you're right. Sheridan is definitely my once in a lifetime love. She's my soul mate.” The love reflected in Luis' eyes right now was astounding and it warmed Buzzy's heart to see his friend so happy.

“I'll leave you two love birds alone” Buzzy grinned. “Todd and I are headed home and I have a pretty good idea what you two have planned.” He kissed Sheridan's cheek and winked knowingly at Luis as he departed.

Sheridan laughed, still slightly flustered while Luis groaned inwardly. Sheridan caught the look on Luis' face and whispered in his ear, “only twenty eight days and ten hours, my love.”

Luis looked at Sheridan in surprise. “Come on Angel” he said. “Let's get you home. The more nights that pass, the sooner our wedding day will be here.”

Sheridan smiled. “And we'll be husband and wife.”

Luis smiled at her and the two walked off into the crisp night air hand in hand.

************************

Luis sat down at his computer to check his email as well as sending Jay a quick holiday greeting before going to bed for the night and was surprised to see he had a note from Sheridan. He chuckled silently as he read her note.

I know you just left here a few minutes ago but I couldn't go to bed without saying good night one more time. I had a wonderful time today my darling. Spending the holiday with you and your family has been truly a highlight in my life. I become positively giddy when I think that from now on all my holidays will be spent with you. How did I get so lucky?

I love you Pezz, with every ounce of my being.

Luis sighed happily and sent a quick response to her note. There was no better feeling in the world than reading one of KCGirl's emails right before he retired for the night. Actually, going to bed with her wrapped in his arms would be better, but this was perfect for now. Once he finished reading his note from KCGirl, he opened another email from Jay. It would see his old partner had beaten him to the punch.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!! I bet you had a great day. I think my only question would be, which did you enjoy more? ... your mom's cooking ... or watching Sheridan have a real family holiday surrounded by people who love her?

I don't have to ask you how the wedding plans are going, Sheridan is keeping me up-to-date.

Thanksgiving was good here. Scott took me to meet some of his friends in San Diego and then I took him to meet some of my friends up here. Oh my, look at how that sounds! Meeting each other's friends on a holiday! I guess this thing we've got going is starting to get serious. Yeah, it is getting serious. Earlier today, in the car, I started thinking in terms of ..... maybe ...... possibly ...... starting to ........ fall in ...... the "L" word.

And now I'm getting scared. Terrified is more like it, actually. I hadn't planned on caring this much for Scott. The physical attraction was there from the beginning, but suddenly, I find that I'm absolutely crazy about the guy. Stop laughing at me!!

Luis couldn't keep the grin off his face. “Jay you're killing me here” he said as he continued to read her note.

I'm losing my mind here. Scott is everything I've ever wanted. He's kind and smart and funny and honest and we just seem to fit together perfectly. I can be myself around him, good or bad, and he is the same with me. Not to mention the fact that he's almost as gorgeous as you are - LOL - ok I know, too much info for you - and I did say, almost!

Everything is going great and I'm so happy with Scott in my life, but ...... I think we are about to hit a huge wall. We are just about to a point where we are going to have to break it off or take a chance. See, I can tell he's keeping a secret from me. And it's a big secret too, a deal breaker. You know how I can tell? Because of the secret I'm keeping from him - I recognize the signs. Lately, we have been taking turns pulling back when we start to get too close. So I bet you are going to tell me that one of us is going to have to take a chance and spill their secret and hope the other will reciprocate, or we should end it now, before it gets to be too painful?

So Luis, help me out here? What do I do now? You're probably going to tell me that I should take a risk, that I have to tell Scott the truth. You're going to say that if I truly care for Scott as much as I say and if I believe he feels the same way about me, then he has a right to know the whole truth, before things go much farther between us. And I know you're right - I have to tell him. But how? How do I risk what we have? How do I take the chance of losing the best guy (besides you) that I've ever had in my life? How do I tell him? When do I tell him? Luis, I'm really scared that Scott won't want to see me anymore when he hears the truth. You know my fears are not groundless either. Just because it doesn't matter to you and you love me anyway, you've seen how other people react and it's frequently not a pretty sight.

“Oh Jay” he sighed heavily. He knew how his friend felt about this. He knew she had reason to feel this way from past experiences but also knew not everyone in this world was like that.

I wish you were here - I could really use a hug. :) I'll use my imagination - aah that feels great, thanks.

Ok - serious stuff is over now - thanks for lending the ear and the shoulder - you're such a good cyber listener! I'll let you know what I decide to do.

BTW --- I still hate you (just kidding!!) for doing this wedding thing in the dead of winter and making me come there. OTOH, I can't wait to see you and Sheridan - I miss you both a lot.

Though it was late, Luis had to respond to Jay. What he was going to tell her was nothing she didn't already know herself. In fact, he was about to give her similar advice to that which she had given Sheridan several months earlier.